Maya - Light Linking on big scenes

Hey there,
I’m working on Maya 2019 / Vray4.12

I need to setup some lights in an asset scene, and load this scene several times in another scene to do some set dressing.
The lights in each reference should only impact the meshs in their own references.

Vray does not seems to have a basic include / exclude list for the lights, so it does not seem I can setup this in the asset’s scene.
I tried light linking in the set dressing scene, but there are way too much lights and meshs and the light link just crashes (found a possible explanation here), even if I use object sets and not simply list all meshs in the scene in my cmds.lightlink command.

How would you do that? Is there a way to do that easily in Vray? I know that we can use include / exclude lists on lights in Renderman.